17dp5dt
I woke up feeling paranoid today.
Sleep quality was bad last night. Even though my eyes were drooping off by 11pm in bed, my brain was alert and unwilling to fall into deep sleep. Not sure what was going on there. My tummy was uncomfortable prob from all the gas builtup.
Got up at 1am to pee.
Got up at 4am to pee.
Despite having a good bowel movement earlier in the eve, fart like hell last night. Long loud ones and packed with omphf!Gotto be the black bean soup I had for last night.
I finally fell into deep sleep by about 7am, but my alarm woke me at 9.30am for my estroferm pill intake. I groggily took my pill and fell back asleep till 11.30am. Time for progesterone vaginal insert. Then I had the greatest sexual urge ever and before I knew it, I had an orgasm. Feeling guilty there since i read that it is unsafe to have orgasm during 1st trimester due to contractions. Well it isnt my fault my body is behaving this way!
Putting it behind me, since what is done cannot be undone...cooked myself some chicken lunch with rice. To top up my evil list for today, i drank a fresh coconut. All Chinese mothers will tell you its a No No because coconut is thought to be too cooling and will dislodge the baby. I might regret this but I couldnt help myself. I needed the drink. I wanted the drink.
Read alot about blighted ovum last night.
I am kind of concerned if it might be my case since I have no symptoms, no cravings, and its progressing as if everything was per normal. Like I said yesterday, pee stick is my only reminder of my pregnancy but that doesnt tell me if my hCg levels are rising normally.
I have said before that when I get too excited about something, it always gets taken from me? That's what I am really afraid about this baby. Maybe I am too happy way too early.
Take for example, I was just planning what to do on a nice relaxing weekend by myself this weekend as my husband was supposed to head to India for a fren's wedding. He had everything booked, visa paid etc, and just 2 days ago, suddenly he told me plans cancelled due to his biz trip on Monday. So there goes my weekend alone.
That kind of seriously jolt me back to reality and got me worrying abit if I had been thinking too much about baby's future in my head that it might be taken away from me.
I know people will mock me at my silliness and superstitious nature.
However, unless u are in my shoes to experience all those "let downs", you wont understand this inexplicable fear.
So I pray.
I pray for a safe first trimester, and a safe healthy delivery....
Symptoms
Hard to fall asleep. Hot flushes in the middle of the night.
Farts...plenty of farts.
Decreasing appetite
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